I read ‘You Are a Badass’ by Jen Sincero two weeks ago on a beach in France. I was doing some soul-searching and this was the perfect book for the mood I was in. ‘You Are a Badass’ is like the mother of all self-help books and here is my review.
The subtitle of You Are a Badass is “How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life”. It’s a self-help book, in the same category as The Secret, but a whole lot more fun to read. Reading the book makes you feel like you’re talking to a close friend who is giving you the best pep talk you’ve ever had.
Most people are living in an illusion based on someone else’s beliefs
The book starts off by saying that many of us are living our lives based on limiting beliefs, and these are often not our own. They may have been brought down to us by our parents, or our friends, or anyone we spend a lot of time with. The author highlights that these beliefs have nothing to do with the truth or who we are. We carry around with us limiting, false beliefs, most of the time without even realizing it. These beliefs can be about any number of things: love, life, success, money… And they create the reality we live in.
Jen Sincero writes that no matter what it is you want, you always have an underlying belief about it that’s keeping you from having it (for example that you can’t have it, or that it will cause you pain). So that belief ensures you won’t let yourself have it or that you’ll lose it along the way. The key is to get your subconscious beliefs into alignment with the things and experiences you really want and eliminate any conflict between the two.
The life you want is right here, right now
The book is basically a tool to become aware of your own limiting beliefs and fix whatever’s blocking you from “living the kind of life you’d love to live”. What really struck me, is that Jen writes that whatever we want in life is already out there, we’re just not aware of it. We have created our own reality, based on our own limiting, false beliefs, which Jen calls our “comfort zone”. And getting out of our comfort zone is not going to be easy, in fact: it is meant to be extremely uncomfortable. Every time you grow and learn something new, you are going to be uncomfortable because you will reach a level you’ve never been at before, with new challenges. But while you’re learning and growing, always trust that your new life is already out there (I love this!).
Most answers reveal themselves through doing, not thinking
I think this is one of the most important lessons from Jen Sincero’s book that makes it so different from other self-help books I’ve read. Most books on the Law of Attraction focus on your thoughts; positive thinking and how “like attracts like”. Jen also writes about the importance of changing your thinking first and how we have to believe in the “not-yet seen”. However, she goes a step further and writes that you have to take action in order to change your life. This is related to what I wrote above about getting uncomfortable. In order to get the awesome life you want, you have to take action: get out of your routine, meet new people and make the conscious decision to reach your goals.
If you made the decision that you were going to reach your goals, you would do whatever it took
And if you’re not sure yet what those goals are, Jen also has lots of advice for you. Spent five minutes a day by yourself, in silence, to figure out what makes you feel alive. Ask yourself what you fantasize about when staring out the window of a train or before you go to sleep at night. If you had unlimited money, what would you spend your life doing? Meditate on these questions to figure out what you really want. Figure out what your truest version of success looks like, without comparing yourself to other people. Comparison, Jen writes, is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life. It’s none of your business what other people are doing – focus on yourself. Every single person has “unique and valuable gifts to share with the world”. Your job is to find out what those gifts are.
The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information
We’ve heard it all before (don’t give up, keep going…) but reading it in You Are a Badass it suddenly makes sense. Jen writes that there are plenty of people in the world living amazing lives, lives that most of us only dream about living. They key is, that they decided to go for it. I think this is the most valuable lesson I learned from Jen’s book. Change your beliefs, take action and don’t give up. You have to keep believing in yourself, always, even when life gets hard. Start putting your own needs first, and free yourself from all the drama. That also includes “people with tiny minds and tiny thoughts”. Surround yourself with people who see limitless possibilities in life.
The people you surround yourself with are excellent mirrors for who you are and how much, or how little, you love yourself
Jen ends every chapter with her most important advice: love yourself. You have to love yourself to believe in yourself and believe you deserve an awesome life. Also, trust that you know what’s best for you. The only one who know what you really want is you.
Needless to say, I loved You Are a Badass and whenever I’m feeling down, I open it and reread some of the parts I’ve underlined (pretty much everything) and I feel better straight away. Jen Sincero has a new book coming up in 2017 (You Are a Badass At Making Money) and I’ll be the first one to buy it. I cannot recommend her enough and I’ll definitely be reviewing her next book on my blog when it comes out.