On life

One simple rule for change (Monday Motivation #6)

My best blogpost ideas come to me when I’m driving in my car and listening to music. This post is no exception. When I come up with great ideas I always feel like I’ve seen the light and that’s certainly true here. One simple rule for change – for those of you who need it.

I’ve read a lot of self-help books, blogs and watched lots of inspirational movies to figure out what I wanted to do with my life (which is still going on, by the way). So I’m not going to write blogpost with the same advice, because in the end nothing really helps. As inspiring and amazing some books or movies are, after reading or watching them I’m still me. I don’t think there’s any advice you can hear that will really change you.

Except one thing and (luckily) this is something I can actually help you with. I’m still figuring life out and what my passions and desires are, but through it all I am successful in one important thing.

I love myself

Not in an arrogant, cocky or self-involved way. And not every day either (at least, not all day every day). But for the most part I love who I am. I am kind, compassionate, funny (not all the time), I take care of myself (self-love people!) and when I love someone else I do so whole-heartedly. Of course, I don’t love every aspect about myself (read more here). I also haven’t always loved myself. Until I was about 20 years old I didn’t even like myself, but it took me many more years to realize that. That lack of self-love led to a whole lot of bad decisions.

So why is self-love so IMMENSELY important? It’s really very simple. If you want to change, either yourself, or a situation you’re in, or the whole world, you always need to start with yourself. Change happens because you put a lot of good energy into something and if you can’t do that for yourself, nothing will ever change. Do you know that feeling when you’re just starting to like someone? You’ve been on a few dates and you get butterflies just thinking of that person. You admire specific qualities about this person which make you like them even more. THAT’S what needs to happen. You need to fall in love with yourself.

“Who is someone you admire? Write down a few of their traits and begin to act like you already possess those attractive and powerful qualities” – Bob Proctor

I happened to read this quote on Twitter yesterday as I was writing this blogpost, and this is actually a great exercise. Think about someone you love or admire and why you admire them. What are qualities they have that you would like to have? Imagine you had those qualities. Wouldn’t you feel the same admiration for yourself as you do for them? Perhaps even more so, as you never thought YOU would possess those qualities. You will feel all warm, proud, happy and tingly when thinking about yourself. THAT is self-love and self-love moves mountains!

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down” – Roy T. Bennett

Yes: I am in love with myself. I haven’t accomplished anything major in life (yet), but I’ve overcome some serious struggles, have learned to stand on my own two feet and through it all I am still ambitious and I’m still smiling! I am strong, cheerful and kind – and when I think of myself in that way, I love myself a little more. I am proud of who I’ve become. That’s doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of growing left to do (lots), but I’ve come a long way already. I am confident and I trust that I will keep moving forward and that good things will happen to me. And although I’m definitely not perfect and don’t love everything about myself, I don’t dwell on my faults. I focus on my strengths. If you’re unsure about where you’re headed in life or what you’re supposed to be doing, just do one thing: love yourself. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done.

Emmelyn X

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