Luck – some of us have lots of it, while others have very little. Coincidence? Or do good things only happen to good people? Not necessarily. I’ve come to find that how good you are is irrelevant for success – it’s how bad you want something. That’s the only thing that matters.
I can’t count how many times I’ve thought: “that’s so unfair” about something happening to me or to someone else, whether good or bad. When something bad happens to me I can’t help thinking how unfair it is. “Hasn’t this year been bad enough already? It’s not fair!” I can think the same thing about good things happening to other people, especially if I feel they have so much already. It’s just not fair.
Life’s not fair
Life. Is. Not. Fair. It’s just not. But it’s not unfair either. It’s neutral. It reacts to you. So if you’re feeling good about something, you’re likely to attract it. If you’re feeling bad about something, you’re likely to attract that. Whether you’re a good person or not. Whether you deserve it or not. It really is that simple. We don’t live in an unfair world: you make your own reality.
If you’re really honest with yourself, you know this is true. But you have to be really honest and dig really deep. All the crappy things you go through somehow fit with who you are and what you believe. Don’t panic: the same is true for the good things. And like I have written before: your beliefs are yours to change. So all is not lost.
And this is the interesting part. How in God’s name do you change your beliefs? Some beliefs are so deep-rooted that they almost define who you are – it can be really hard to change those. Hard, yes, but not impossible! I am actually working really hard on this right now and I’ll soon write a blogpost on how to do this. But don’t despair: it’s possible. Some of the beliefs that keep interfering with my life seemed almost impossible to change, but as it turns out: it’s not. All you need to do is be aware of those beliefs and consciously and continually force your thoughts in the opposite direction. No big deal.
Life doesn’t just happen
So if you’re like me and often catch yourself thinking “why is life so unfair” you have to stop yourself and realize that you form your own reality and life doesn’t just ‘happen’. When you are confronted with the ‘shadowy’ side of life, like I was early on, it can be very hard to shake it off. It’s very easy to get lost in a sad song, movie or documentary which brings up that pain. I know it all too well. And it’s fine to feel sad or angry every once in a while. You need to get through certain emotions in order to let them go. But don’t let this pain consume you. Feeling happy is just so much better.
Make. It. Happen.
Of course I don’t want to discourage anyone to be a good person. I consider myself a good person and that makes me feel good. I like to inspire people, make them laugh, help them, console them, make them feel better any way I can. The thing is, I need to learn to do this for myself as well. And I need to learn that no matter how good I think I am, it doesn’t mean I can sit back and wait for good things to happen. I have to go out and make them happen. You can be a good person and still have negative thoughts. If you really want something, you need to be on the same level, energy-wise, and work hard to make sure you get what you want. If I want something bad enough, I will go out and get it. And that’s all that matters. When it comes to getting what you want, it’s all about how bad you want it. Not how good you think you are.