On life

What’s making you unhappy

Whenever I’m feeling down, or sad, or really uninspired it’s often because of this one thought I have. Yes, as humans we’re supposed to grow, learn, live, fall and get back up. But it isn’t all about growth and survival. Aren’t we missing something here?

Yes – if you ask me, we are. A lot of our pain, sadness and frustration comes from the thought that life should be “better than this”. “Life is supposed to be fun” so why is life so boring or why am I hurting so much? I am surviving, but it doesn’t feel very good.

Surviving vs. thriving

I truly believe that us, humans, are not just trying to survive. Some of us are, yes, but most of us are looking for a good quality of life. And that’s totally subjective, of course. What you believe is a good life quality, might be very different for someone else. No matter where you set the bar, that’s where you believe you should be. And if you’re not there, you’re not happy.

Fear Of Missing Out

Life is supposed to be fun. I torture myself with that thought all the time. I especially love scrolling through my Instagram when I’m not feeling too happy and checking out other people’s ‘happiness’. That just makes me feel worse and gives me massive FOMO on top of my already particularly negative mood.

I want to have fun, I want to enjoy my life. I want to find my passion. I want my work to be fun and I want to spend my days in a passionate daze where time does not exist. These thoughts are probably my most toxic thoughts. I’m getting better at controlling them – also thanks to writing about it on my blog – but I still fall into the trap every now and then. There’s only one solution:

Stay busy!

Find something you don’t hate or something you want to learn and completely drown yourself in it. That’s what I do. It’s like that saying: “successful people never worry about what others are doing” – this makes SO much sense to me. When I’m busy, whether passionate or not, I don’t care about other people, how much fun they’re having or how much fun I should be having. I’m out there living my life.

Life isn’t meant to be easy

Life isn’t meant to be easy, I’m sure of that. Growing hurts and moving forward can be very uncomfortable. But guess what: I DO believe life is supposed to be fun, although what I define as ‘fun’ in a given moment may need to be revisited. First, people are never having as much fun as I think they are (FOMO is bullshit). Second, worrying about it takes all MY fun away, so why the hell worry?! Get off Instagram and start living your life (note to self)!

Yes, life is supposed to be fun. We’re not here to survive, we’re here to have a good life. As good as possible – for us. WITHOUT comparison to how good we think other people have it. The easiest way to find what’s fun for me is really listen to myself. What makes me feel good? What excites me? What do I enjoy? And NOT: what looks cool? What would be exciting or interesting to share online? What could I do that would impress others? Bye-bye happiness.

The solution

Life is not easy, but life is meant to be fun. Not all the time – but most of the time. Just like a relationship – the good days should always outnumber the bad. Find what makes you happy and do it as often as you can. And if nothing makes you happy, do something that makes you smile or something you don’t hate. Also: try something you’re afraid of or learn a new skill. Whatever it is: make sure it’s fun or at least a little interesting and makes you forget about time and about what everyone else is doing. Oh, and if you’re not enjoying life and feel like crap, just admit it to yourself. Don’t start thinking “AHHH life is supposed to be fun!” Don’t deny the pain, because that only makes it worse. One bad day does not mean a bad life!

 

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