I’ve always thought of myself as a new soul (contrary to what other people have told me) mainly because I consider myself a late bloomer. In this blogpost I share five reasons why I feel I am a late bloomer (and why it’s totally fine).
Whenever I talk to someone about it or take some astrology test online, I always get the same response: I must be an old soul. In some way, I consider this a compliment (perhaps I look wise?) but I completely disagree. I think that, if there is such a thing, I must be brand new. I am afraid of everything, it takes me so long to figure life out and most of the time I don’t seem to be any good at it. I consider myself a late bloomer which, according to Wikipedia, is:
“A person whose talents or capabilities are not visible to others until later than usual”
Well, I am just that. I am still hopeful my talents will come out some day! Anyway, whether or not my soul is old or new, here are 5 reasons why I am a definite late bloomer.
1. I am afraid of almost everything
Like I said above, a lot of things scare me. And I don’t mean things like spiders, the dark and jumping out of airplanes, but common things that don’t seem to scare anyone else. I am talking about moving to a new house, driving somewhere new, receiving an unexpected e-mail… Mostly dealing with new, unexpected things scare me a lot. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but out of the people I know I am above-average scared of (generally) stupid things. It’s something I’m still trying to deal with.
2. If I have a hidden talent, I have no idea what it is (yet!)
Okay, I know this isn’t necessarily a sign of being a late bloomer – lots of people have no idea what their ‘passions’ are or what they’re talented at. The difference is, that I feel strongly that there is something, but I’m just not there yet. Like I wrote in a previous post, the past 4 years have been my biggest growing years so far, and I still feel I have so much more growing to do. I am so envious of people starting their own companies at 21 or getting the job of their dreams before they’re 25. Because that’s not me and in a way, that’s also a settling thought. I know that could have never been me. I am a late bloomer – the best is yet to come!
3. I still feel like a girl (not yet a woman)
And not only that – I still describe people my age as “boys” and “girls”. My boyfriend sometimes makes fun at me for this and says: ‘that’s a man, not a boy’. Whatever, in my mind we’re all still little boys and girls. The only time I consider myself a woman is when I’m dressed up, in a tight skirt and high heels with lots of make-up on and my hair done. Then, I’m definitely a woman. Most other times though, I consider myself a girl (yes I know, I’m almost 30).
4. I often laugh way too loud, way too late
On a smaller scale, it usually takes me a minute or two to get a joke (especially a complicated one). The first step to change is self-awareness, right? Well I am very aware of this. I’m the kind of person who laughs at something when everybody’s quiet again (and I also laugh a little too loud). And it isn’t just jokes, it’s also wordplays and riddles – I’ll get the gist (at some point) but I need a little time. On a larger scale: I am also like this in life. I feel like a lot of time I am catching up with things other people already seem to get. It’s not a good feeling, but realising you’re growing out of it is. I love the feeling of getting ahead and being better than I was before, and I feel like that all the time!
5. I am the last to discover things
I don’t like change (at first) and usually resent any kind of change in my life. Whether it’s a new job, a new house or a new social medium I have to join; I don’t like it. Again, I am very aware of this and I know it’s not a good quality. In fact, I am teaching myself to say “yes” more often, because things always turn out better than I think. In fact, although I hate change, I do go along with it, albeit a little later than everyone else. And when I do, I realise how much I enjoy it. Small example: I remember bitching for years to everyone about how much I hated the Twilight movies – it was a media hype and I was definitely not going to watch any of them. Years later, after everyone was sick of vampires, who ‘discovered’ the Twilight Saga and loved it? That’s right, me. The late bloomer. Nice to meet you.
If you are also a late bloomer and have other funny traits like these, please share! I’d love to hear them!