I know that we are ‘supposed’ to find happiness in the ‘small things in life’, like the beautiful colors of the autumn leaves, or the smell of grass, or the smile of a baby. Although this all sounds very good and noble, I completely disagree. Life should be lived fully, not wandering around a forest hugging trees. Not my life, anyway.
I don’t mean to sound bitter or negative; I absolutely enjoy the changing seasons, the smell of freshly cut grass, driving home in the sunset and reading a good book. I enjoy those things and I don’t take them for granted, but they don’t make me happy. It’s not like I could forever watch the seasons change and smell the grass and be happy. That’s what I’m trying to say.
The simple things are not enough
I wanted to blog about this, because we all seem to be so caught up in ‘mindfulness’ and meditation, enjoying life, living in the now… And although I agree that it is important to enjoy the present moment, it is not enough in order to be fully happy. This year has been my biggest growing year and I’ve been asking myself all sorts of questions about life, love and happiness and I’ve come to realize that we all want this one ingredient that will do the trick. One recipe, one cocktail, one road to happiness. Smell the flowers and enjoy life!
Obviously it doesn’t work that way. I’m going to give you an example, which may seem a bit strange. But here goes. I know I want to have children one day and I also know that being a mother is going to make me very happy. I can’t even imagine the joy I will feel when I first hold my own baby in my arms. I actually never even wanted children, until I fell in love. I then understood why it must be so amazing to create something, someone, out of love. I can’t imagine anything more wonderful and I really hope that I will be lucky enough to have children one day.
BUT – and here it is – I also know for sure that having children won’t make me complete. It won’t be enough for me. I know that I cannot know that for sure, because I am not a mother yet, but it’s something I feel very strongly about. I am sure my world will be turned upside down and I will be overwhelmed, and tired, and scared and ecstatically happy. But I also know that anything new, no matter how amazing, becomes something you get used to. It becomes routine and you’ll feel like your life has always been that way. No matter how life-changing having children will be, it won’t make me lose my ambition, my love for work and my desire to create something that’s mine. I am pretty sure about that.
Back to hugging the trees and smelling the grass, because having children certainly doesn’t classify as something ‘small’ (in my child-less opinion). It just serves as an example, that you may need more than one thing to make you happy. This realization has really helped me look at life differently. I don’t need to find one thing, one passion, one job or one talent. I can be happy doing many different things, in fact: I feel that that’s the way I’m wired. I can’t imagine ever finding ‘one thing’ and feel complete. That sounds so boring!
My kind of happiness
I wanted to write this blogpost because I like sharing my thoughts and opinions with all of you and I’m always curious if someone feels the same way. I don’t come across a lot of people who do, which is one of the reasons I started this blog. It’s fine to find happiness in long walks in the park and the feel of the wind on your skin, but it’s ALSO fine if you feel kind of let down that those things don’t do it for you. We’re all different! It’s fine to admit you don’t want to be a stay at home mom, it’s also fine if you do. It’s all about being true to who you are, and this is my view on my happiness. Although I love a lot of little things in life, they aren’t enough to make me happy. I want to be shaken and turned upside down by life and realize I can take it. I want to learn, grow and change – every day. I want to make decisions and then change my mind a day later. I want to think about the future and get excited by the idea that I have no idea where I’ll be even a year from now. That’s me and my kind of happiness.
What’s your idea of happiness? Please share!